xkcd hits the nail on the head:

Recent output from the Linux "fortune" command:

The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Twain had obviously never tried mango or fresh pineapple, and his recollection of Genesis 3 was a little off as well! :-)

I've just added a feed for Dave Barry, a very funny man. Check out his articles when you are looking for some chuckles!  I for one am really looking forward to getting an electronic yodelling pickle for Christmas.

As seen on slashdot:

...

Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb-assassin to break the bulb in the first place.