The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (seen in the Linux 'fortune' command)

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probably reason why so few engage in it."
-- Henry Ford, 1929 (quoted in Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, "How to be your own selfish pig", Chariot Books, 1982, 15).

xkcd hits the nail on the head:

Recent output from the Linux "fortune" command:

The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Twain had obviously never tried mango or fresh pineapple, and his recollection of Genesis 3 was a little off as well! :-)

I've just added a feed for Dave Barry, a very funny man. Check out his articles when you are looking for some chuckles!  I for one am really looking forward to getting an electronic yodelling pickle for Christmas.