You've hopefully heard of Gary Larson's "Didn't Like 'Dances With Wolves' Society" (or DLDWWS, with its sum total of three members :-).  Well, here is my whining about the 'Lord of the Rings' movie.

Let me state from the outset that i am a huge fan of the original book.  In my mind, Tolkien was one of the great literary geniuses of the 20th century.  As is expected, many of my complaints about the movie come in its departures from the book:

• Frodo: Elijah Woods' acting skills lived up to his name (they were a little wooden), and no number of close-ups on his blue eyes looking worried can make up for it.
• The casting of Aragorn: Viggo Mortensen is a fine actor, but i'm not convinced that he has the screen presence required to do justice to Tolkien's Aragorn.  (Then again, i can't think of anyone who does.)
• Music: In a well-done movie, you shouldn't notice the music unless it's a core part of the content.  In LotR it was so loud and there for such a large portion of the movie that it was oppressive, and you felt like you should have been in a classical music concert instead of a fantasy movie.
• Little details changed for no reason:
  • Glorfindel took Frodo across the fords, not Arwen.
  • It was Gandalf's idea to go into Moria, not Gimli's.  Additionally, Gimli already knew Balin was missing and suspected dead.
  • Pippin didn't knock a suit of armor into the well (accidentally), he dropped a stone into it (intentionally).  And it wasn't until some time later that the goblins found them.
  • Frodo was picked up, presumed dead, by Aragorn and carried out of Moria.  It wasn't until they escaped that it was discovered that he had the mithril mail and was still alive.  It is difficult to understand why this was left out - it would have added real tragedy value which would have given the film more impact.
  • At the Falls of Rauros, Samwise guessed what Frodo's plan was and went specifically to find him.
  • Frodo never mentioned that he had seen Gollum until after he and Samwise had left the main party.
• Lothlorien was too mysterious and not joyful enough.  The skipping of the blindfolding of the party and Gimli's request of Galadriel means that the basis for core parts of Gimli's character (his friendship with Legolas and his regard for Galadriel) are lost.
• Singing, a core part of the Elves' culture was not portrayed in any significant measure.  A friend remarked to me that this was consistently maintained for all "culture" in the film - most of the bloodthirstiness of the book was portrayed, but none of the redeeming cultural features, such as singing, poetry, language, and art.  It could be argued (rightly) that these things would have made the film too long (and perhaps boring for some viewers), but this is one of the book's key features.  I recognise that in any film portrayal information is going to be lost, but in this case, the price to pay is too high.

• The casting of Legolas, Gimli, Boromir (presumably Sean Bean will play Faramir in the later episodes as well?), Elrond, Gandalf, Bilbo, and to a lesser extent, the younger hobbits.
• The goblin, orc, and rock troll portrayals, especially in Moria (although the 'orc-forge' and the whole zooming around with the camera thingy in Isengard was a bit over the top).
• The technique of swapping from Gandalf's story to Frodo's during the early part of the movie, whereas in the book you don't find out until much later.
• The scenery was fantastic, and the location shots of the Shire were well-chosen.
• Bilbo's home and the cleverness of the camera work making Gandalf appear so large and Bilbo so small.
• "Fly, you fools!"
• "The dwarf breathes so loud i could have shot him in the dark!"

Maybe one of these days i'll go to see it again and give it another chance.

I've asked myself several times, "Is there any way i could be satisfied with a film version of Lord of the Rings?  (I haven't seen the cartoon version, but i hear it was similarly abbreviated.)  I can't in all honesty say that i could be, but i think it would help if the whole book were portrayed, word for word, with no omissions or changes of detail. 

I recognise that this would make a three-part movie into a 20 (?) part series, but i think that is what would be necessary to do justice to the book.  If you've seen "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within", i think you'll admit that animation technology is nearly at the stage where this could be achieved on a realistic budget.